


Don't Get Cocky, Kid

by thewightknight



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Awkward First Times, Cocky Week, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 22:51:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14681120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight
Summary: Go with Luke to steal this Force artifact and keep him out of trouble. Han could do that. It sounded easy, in fact.Han should have remembered. For him, nothing ever goes easy.





	Don't Get Cocky, Kid

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Cocky Week](http://lenfaz.tumblr.com/post/173893963817/fanfiction-cocky-week)!

Normally Han tried to avoid religious nuts. Especially religious nuts who hated “offworlders” and were known to perform ritual sacrifices. But when Luke had found out their grand high whatever’s mystic headstone on his high seat of power was some ancient Force artifact, he’d asked Han for help in retrieving it and he could never tell Luke no. The kid didn’t know that, of course. If he did, he’d get Han into even more trouble than he did already. 

He’d feel bad about robbing religious types, but these guys were violently xenophobic, hated females of any and all species, and cheated on trade deals on a regular basis. The last one alone would have made them fair game in Han’s book, and the other two things wiped away any residual guilt he might have felt at relieving them of one of their precious treasures.

So that’s how he found himself sneaking them onto a planet that hated humans and following Luke through a jungle full of things that would love to eat them and infiltrating a creepy temple full of statues of various beings involved in activities he didn’t want to look too closely at. They’d made it this far because this temple was only used for rites at specific times of year and was left with only a few priests to maintain it during the off seasons.

Things had been going well. Better than Han expected, really. But he should have known. Whenever things seemed to be going too well, they invariably took a turn for the worse. 

“Someone’s coming!”

Han didn’t hear anything but Luke had other ways of knowing. As much as he griped about that mystical Force nonsense, he had to admit it had its uses.

“There’s no place to hide.”

“Yes there is. Here.” Luke’s fingers slid over a panel in the wall that seemed indistinguishable from all the others, pushing against what seemed like a random combination of protuberances. The panel slid open with a hiss.

“Um, Luke. We aren’t going to fit in there.”

The room revealed behind the panel was stuffed full of what looked like ceremonial robes and accompanying regalia.

“No time to look for anywhere else.”

Luke was right. Now Han could hear voices from outside the audience chamber.

“Okay. Here goes.” He shoved his way into the mass of hanging fabrics. Luke piled in after him and the panel hissed shut again just as the main doors swung open.

“I thought this high potentate or whatever was supposed to be at the main temple?” He whispered, even though he was sure the mounds of fabric would muffle his voice.

“He was supposed to be, I’m sure of it. I checked their liturgical calendar twice.” Luke was plastered to his back and his breath ruffled the hairs at the back of Han’s neck as he spoke. Trying to ignore the shivers that sent up his spine, he shifted, but there was no place to go and his movements only made things worse.

“I hope we don’t run out of air in here.”

“We shouldn’t. I can sense some kind of climate control system.”

“Wouldn’t want this fancy stuff to start to smell bad, I guess.” Han shifted again, trying to shove the hanging robes aside to give them a bit more room and froze when he heard something scrape against the wall.

“Han!” He felt Luke tense behind him.

“Shit. Think they heard?”

Luke didn’t respond at first.

“Luke?”

“Shhh. I’m trying to listen.”

He counted to one hundred and tried again.

“Luke?”

“It’s some kind of trial, I think? Something about blasphemous acts.”

“How long’s it going to take?”

Luke sighed, breath ruffling the hair at the base of Han’s neck and raising goosebumps on his arms.

“Get comfortable. We’re going to be here for a while.”

“Great.”

Waiting was not Han’s strong suit. Charging in, blasters blazing, was more his style. He’d done more than his share of hiding in random places over the course of his smuggling career, but he’d never done it in such cramped quarters, and never with someone else. Definitely never with someone else whose charms he’d been trying to ignore for months. This was going to be a long morning.

It wasn’t so bad at first. They could whisper back and forth to each other, at least, and Luke had been right about the air supply in here. But if they moved, they ran the constant risk of knocking over the giant decorative staves hanging on the wall behind the racks or dislodging some giant headpiece from its stand. The minutes ticked by and Han became increasingly uncomfortable, until at last he had to say something.

“Hey, Luke. Can you move your lightsaber? I’m gonna bruise if we’re stuck much longer.”

Luke didn’t say anything, but Han could feel a sudden flush of warmth where his cheek lay against Han’s shoulder.

“Luke?”

“Um, Han. That’s … not my lightsaber.”

Luke said the words in a rush, his voice breathy and higher and usual. It cracked at the end, along with Han’s brain.

Oh.

**_Oh._ **

“Fuck.”

Han hadn’t realized he’d said that aloud until Luke answered him.

“Can you maybe not say things like that right now?”

What Han did next was probably the most ill-advised thing he’d ever done, and he’d done a lot of stupid things in his life, so that was saying a lot. But you didn’t get to be one of the most famous smugglers in the galaxy by playing it safe.

Luke buried his groan between Han’s shoulder blades as he deliberately pushed back against Luke’s “lightsaber”, twisting his hips to increase the friction between them.

“Han, what are you doing?” he hissed.

“Making the most out of a bad situation,” he whispered back, reaching back to grab Luke’s hips.

“You’re going to get us caught.”

“You can be quiet, right, kid?” Luke continued to fill out behind him. Fuck. The kid was hung like a bantha.

“Could you stop calling me kid?”

Yeah, maybe he should rethink that, what with Luke’s humongous cock grinding against the cleft of his ass. Less words, more action, he decided. He couldn’t get much leverage but a gentle roll of his hips still had Luke clutching at his arms hard enough to tear the sleeve of his shirt. Encouraged, he did it again, and then again, until Luke sagged into him with a moan and started moving with him.

“What I wouldn’t give for a bed and some lube right about now.”

“If we get out of this…”

“When. When we get out of this.”

He nearly lost his balance when Luke decided to take a more active hand in the proceedings. _Gotta make do with what you have_ , he thought, biting down on one of the robes to muffle his moans when Luke’s hand insinuated itself into his pants. He had to give Luke credit – he didn’t seem nearly as inexperienced as Han had thought. Or maybe he just had a natural talent for this, too. Whichever it was, Han didn’t really care, as long as Luke didn’t stop. He did his best to continue groping Luke’s ass despite the awkward angle. Luke seemed to appreciate the gesture, if the stuttering of his hips was any indication. He stifled another moan in Han’s neck, lips hot against Han’s skin. Han stuffed more of the robe into his mouth when the moan turned into a bite. _That’s gonna leave a mark_ , he thought, but he couldn’t complain, because words were not happening right now. He tried to focus on something besides Luke’s hand, determined to give as good as he got, grinding against him in tight circles. Luke pressed even tighter against him, rising up on his toes to suck at Han’s earlobe, his hand speeding up in response. Han would’ve been embarrassed by the noises coming from his throat if Luke wasn’t making similar ones, little breathy groans and gasps neither of them could hold in. Han broke first, spilling into Luke’s fist, his whole body straining against the need to shout out his release. Luke stroked him through it, losing his rhythm, hips stuttering as he latched on to Han’s neck again to stifle his moans. The first spurts of wetness soaked through Han’s clothes, hot and sticky, and it kept coming, spreading along his back, soaking his shirt and seeping down his backside. Kriffing hell, the kid ejaculated like a bantha too.

“Service droid to the liturgical closet,” he muttered. He knew he sounded grumpy but he could feel himself grinning like a fool. Luke burst out giggling, arms tightening around him in response.

“Are we still good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“You don’t think they heard us?”

“They’re still pretty caught up in their trial. From what I’m catching, they don’t get to do this often so they’re really excited about the opportunity.”

“Yeah, I’m with them on that one.”

Several hours later, they stumbled out of the closet, bleary eyed and filthy.

“C’mon, Luke. Let’s grab this thing and get out of here.”

The acquisition of the artifact was kind of a letdown. Luke did his Force gesture thing and the giant crystal freed itself from the ornate carvings at the top of the throne, floated down from the dais and landed in Luke’s hand.

“Okay, Han. Let’s go.”

“Hang on. I’ve got an idea.”

The cleaning staff would have their work cut out for them, Han thought, when the mess they’d on the ritual robes was discovered, but there was a lot of stuff in that closet. Towards the back he found some relatively plain sets that matched what the rank and file wore. Grabbing one for himself, he threw one to Luke.

“Here, put this on.”

Their trip out was a lot easier than the trip in had been. With giant cowls covering their faces and the crystal hidden in the voluminous sleeves, they mimicked the shuffling and chanting of the other acolytes until they reached the outer corridors, then made a dash for the front door when no one was looking. They both hung onto their stolen garments to cover the stains on their clothing when they reached the jungle. It didn’t make any difference. When they boarded the Falcon, Chewie’s nostrils flared. The Wookiee stared back and forth between the two of them, then roared in delight. He didn’t hug them, though. Instead, he grunted and growled at Han as he prepped the Falcon for takeoff.

Luke still hadn’t gotten the hang of Shyriiwook, although he caught enough of it to make him blush. Something about it being about time and he hoped they’d been safe and would they please go shower.

“Yeah, a shower’s probably a good idea.” He hesitated, then added, “Care to join me? The Falcon’s shower’s a bit tight for two, but it’ll be roomier than that closet.”

Blushing, Luke nodded. As he followed Han down the corridor, he murmured, “You said something about a bed earlier.”

He’d tried to keep his voice down, but Chewie’s huffing laughter still rang out behind them.

_You still need to shower first. And then after!_

“Yeah, yeah, furball. We’re on it.” Slapping the panel for the refresher, he gestured as the door opened. “After you!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you want to say hi, [check out my profile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/profile) for where I’m currently hanging out on this here internet thing.


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